This song is about my father who was killed in front of my great-grandmother's house on New Year's Eve when I was four years old, (I was woken from my sleep by emergency vehicle lights outside the room window that I was sleeping in.) But this song is also about my mother. They were young lovers.They met when she was just 12 years old and when she was 18 they married. He was the love of her life.
My mom, of Mexican decent, was the third generation to be born in the United States. She was a migrant farm worker. Her family traveled up and down California picking fruit, vegetables and nuts. They lived in the dirt floor shacks provided by the farmers. Though she was born in the US, she did not speak English when she was enrolled in school. Attending public school in those days, they did not tolerate Spanish speaking on campus, not just in the classroom, and she and her cousins were regularly beaten and humiliated for speaking the only language they knew.
Finally, tired of the punishments and embarrassment, my mother vowed to not speak Spanish anymore. When she met my dad she was tough from all the fights with the Gringos and also gang fighting. She had always loved learning in school though. She wanted to become a teacher until her High School guidance counselor told her taking college prep courses would be a waste of her time and she should take secretarial classes.
Her dreams dashed, she lost hope, got pregnant, married and managed to graduate from high school. She worked in a factory and as a Nurse's Aid. My father, whose right arm was handicapped since a childhood accident that was never treated properly, worked as a janitor at the local hospital.
When my father died my mother was left with two young children to provide for. After struggling to make ends meet she decided to enroll in secretarial school. She worked at the Boy's Club of America during the day while also attending secretarial school in the evenings. At night she worked as a bar maid. We had day a day babysitter and night babysitter. One night our night sitter never showed up and the day sitter left us outside on the doorstep of her apartment. (We lived in the same apartment building.) The manager thought my mother, who wore a provocative bar maid outfit and worked til after midnight, was a prostitute and he called the police and we were put in a foster home for the night. The manager of the Boy's Club called the authorities and informed them of my mother's true life story and we were returned to her.
She worked as a secretary for many years until she finally decided to attend college and realize her dream of becoming a professor. In her forties she graduated Magna Cum Loude with a Ph.d in Communications. Though she went on to gain a measure of success, her dreams of a family and happiness with my dad were killed the night he died. We underwent much hardship due to the losing Jimmy at age 24.
That's what this song is really about. The loss of all our dreams. When I married my uncle walked me down the aisle. Drunk driving affects generations emotionally and financially. As a mother of 7 children, my kids have no grandfather to teach them, encourage them, love them - no grandfather to give them Christmas or birthday gifts or help them along in life.
When my great-grandmother died, the man who killed my father attended her funeral. My mother said, "That is the man who killed your dad." I had always hated him and dreamed of slapping him - of causing him pain like he caused me. But when I saw him, I didn't see a monster. I saw a man. A man who went unpunished. Never served jail time. Yes, it made me mad, but through the blood of Christ, I was able to forgive him. To let go of the pain and anger.
Yes, I believe drunk drivers should be punished. No, I don't hate him anymore.
Fun In A BottleBy Susana Fierro-Baig
Copyright 2005
It was 2 a.m. on New Year’s Day in ’75,
My young love died,
My Jimmy died.
When a drunk man went out for a ride,
That’s the night that I cried,
When my Jimmy died,
I lost my love in ’75.
Some people think they need a drink
To have a good time.
So they test their luck and spend a buck,
On an innocent life.
But fun is no fun,
It’s just a lot of misery.
When their foot hits the throttle,
Fun in a bottle aint no fun at all.
‘Cuz it’s the end of a life, for a beloved husband and wife,
And that’s, that’s no fun.
My love, let’s go back just 10 minutes before,
I won’t let you through the door.
No, Jimmy, don’t go out that door.
‘Cuz if you do, you’re not coming back my love.
So stay with me,
Just stay with me.
God, why do people think they need a drink
To have a good time?
They test their luck and spend a buck,
On an innocent life.
Fun is no fun.
Just a lot of misery
When their foot hits the throttle
Fun in a bottle aint no fun at all.
‘Cuz it’s a son and a daughter, left alone without a father,
And that’s, that’s no fun.
Jimmy when you lost your life,
I lost my life too.
Our hearts were shattered,
Our dreams didn’t matter,
When death tolled for you.
Fun is no fun,
Just a lot of misery.
When his foot hits the throttle
Fun in a bottle aint no fun at all.
Now he’s gone, for a time
But there’s still eternal life,
And that’s, that’s my prayer.
In ’75 my young love died,
That’s the night that I cried
When my Jimmy died.
I can’t wait to see him on the other side,
On life’s other side,
I’ll be by his side,
By his side.
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I recently asked a singer name Sarah to record her rendition of my song for YouTube and she did! Sept. 2008
I thought you might enjoy hearing it.
